office

This one feels a bit like a cheat. It’s been a week of deadlines, but in many ways they’re self-imposed. I’m working on something that feels significant, but not yet for pay. And it’s a part of a group where there is a ton of energy surrounding it. For example, this morning, one thread in only one of my Facebook groups, of which there is seven of us involved, had 140 new messages since I’d logged off the night before.

It’s not the first time I’ve found myself in a community with lots swirling around it. And in the past, it has been easy to get lost in the midst of visionaries, resources and planning. I scramble to keep up, try to cover all the bases, be needed which equals wanted. It can be exhausting, as you can imagine. And what I’ve learned is that if I’m going to produce anything of value, I have to step back from the energy so I can create the way I create, which at its best is in quiet and depth. Creating my own work feels very Grounding (Core Desired Feeling) while I relish being a part of a place of creative energy, as well. It’s taken a lot of missteps and practice to #ChooseMeFirst in my creative pursuits.

So this week, I wrote out everything I had said yes to and might want to say yes to. I ordered them based on deadlines. And then I assigned them a letter based on my work with my four Core Desired Feelings. If I couldn’t give them a letter and I hadn’t said yes yet, I took them off the list. And so as I started this week full of options, the energy of others, and family needs, I stayed focused on the five things I wanted to get done for me. For my creativity. Some of them were simple, but they moved my work forward.

  • Wrote a blog post with a bio and picture to submit to a website I believe in and has a much wider reach than my own.
  • Spent two hours on finishing something I wasn’t that inspired to do, but really needed to wrap up. (This connects to my Core Desired Feeling of Free).
  • Created my first video, raw as it was, with an ap on my iPad. Something I’d never tried before.
  • Wrote up an explanation and value statement for a course I am creating.
  • Enrolled in a week-long course through my Story Sessions Community that will provide me three Fuze discussion calls about a current project. I find these calls extremely motivating and energizing, especially as a writer who’s an extrovert.

So, you see, I feel a little like I’m cheating because shouldn’t I always create for myself first? Yes, but it’s so easy to create and give my best to others, to get caught up in encouraging everyone else’s projects. Next week, however, I hope to do some things that are more focused on one of my other Core Desired Feelings which is Comfort.

How did/can you choose yourself first today or tomorrow? Join me?

#ChooseMeFirst is a 45 day series that started Feb 10 and will take me through my 45th birthday up to an event that makes me particularly anxious. I plan to chronicle my process online, because I don’t do much of value without an audience. To read about my WHY , click here.

4 thoughts on “#ChooseMeFirst–Days Eleven thru Fifteen–Creativity Edition

  1. Jamie

    Now you know how far behind I am on everything that I just finally got to read this! And I’m so glad I did. Once again, you tipped the scales and convinced me (finally) that I need to get a close-up and personal look at The Desire Map. I’m just way too curious about what my Core Desires are now. :)
    Your posts continue to inspire me. I’m inspired by your organization. My #chooseme choices pretty much need planning ahead, and lately I’ve fallen into the “get everything else done first and then do the things I want” trap. I need to re-center and re-focus on a regular basis or eventually I’ll trickle back to old habits that mean I’m no longer thriving, (a.k.a. the virtue trap.)

  2. Susan Schiller

    I like the idea, too, of exploring Core Desires! It kind of sounds like making decisions or choices based on your core values, what makes you happiest?

    Lately, I’ve been learning to say no to good things, in order to say yes to things that resonate with my core values. I feel your joy and passion in this life you are creating – that’s thrilling!

  3. jewellspring

    Thanks, Susan. While I wish I had known more in my 20s and 30s about what I was really meant to do, I am thrilled to have these epiphanies in my mid-40s when life needs an infusion of newness. Thanks for being a comrade on the journey.

  4. jewellspring

    I so get that, Jamie. It’s why I didn’t write a post last week. I didn’t plan ahead and ended up spending too much money. Still wrestling how to get back on track and how to write about it. Stay tuned :).

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